Wednesday, April 22, 2009

ANTIDOTE TO STRESS = HUMOUR

Dear all,

Exams are around the corner i.e. your mock exams and of course the real exam. Stress is high. A good antidote is exercise and at times humour.

So here is some serious humour, in which I think many of you guys may agree with me that there is an angle of truth to it. Ha Ha. Women is the universe most mysterious, intriguing and potentially igniting being. It takes eternity for the (dumb) men to understand this wonderful, beautiful and meaningful being.

SERIOUS HUMOUR I : MALE AND FEMALE BRAINS
What goes through your mind when someone says "Lets go for a drink"?‏





Beer Commercial, "Thank God you are a Man."







SERIOUS HUMOUR II : MALE AND FEMALE FLIES
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter."What are you doing?" she asked.

"Hunting flies," He responded.

"Oh, killing any?" She asked.

"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?

He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."

SERIOUS HUMOUR III : MALE AND FEMALE PROCEDURES
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.

"MALE PROCEDURE"
‘1. Drive up to the cash machine.

‘2. Put down your car window.

‘3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

‘4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

‘5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

‘6. Put window up.

‘7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE
‘1. Drive up to cash machine.

‘2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

‘3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

‘4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

‘5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

‘6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

‘7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

‘8. Insert card.

‘9. Re-insert card the right way.

‘10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

‘11. Enter PIN.

‘12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

‘13. Enter amount of cash required.

‘14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

‘15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

‘16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

‘17. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

‘18. Re-check makeup.

‘19. Drive forward 2 feet.

‘20. Reverse back to cash machine.

‘21. Retrieve card.

‘22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

‘23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.

‘24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

‘25. Redial person on cell phone.

‘26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

‘27. (AND the final part) Release Parking Brake.


Other Fun Links:
http://marcusong88.blogspot.com/2008/10/humourously-serious.html
http://marcusong88.blogspot.com/2008/10/world-is-fair-isnt-it-egg-heads-also.html

2 comments:

Shiu Lynn said...

Dear sir,

That not true about women.Seem like you are bias in gender. We women don't show the 1 finger to iritate the guy who is behind us.We are gentle unlike "guys".A small little issues arise and end up fighting.

Then women are complex as they think into detail.Unlike man.I guess sir agree with me right?

Women CAN live without man however man CANNOT live without women.hahaha....

Anonymous said...

Yes, women are complex advance technology beings:) Takes men eternity to know them.

Marcus (the 'blur' like all men)

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